(Don't) Give Up
by Turbotail88
Summary: When all our doors are closed and locked shut, and we feel our world sink in darkness, it just takes one person to flip the light on and remind us there are other doors too. Ymir/Krista, heavy swearing, AU, Romance


A surprise for a special someone. Hope this cheers you up, and others reading it too as well! :)

x

Ymir opened her eyes, blinked the sand away and sat up. She rubbed her wrist across her eyes and yawned, stretching her arms above her head and listening to the satisfying crack in her bones. She scratched her head and instinctively looked down at the pillow beside hers, sighing disappointingly when what she searched for was not to be found. Instead, a note sat on the cushion, elegant writing forming neat words that displayed a simple message.

_'Early shift - will be back soon. Love you! -Krista'_

"Why does she write her name? I know it's her… It's cold, damn it."

Ymir shivered as she stood and shook her head wildly. Not only was her lover gone early, but it was cold too and, by looking at the clock, she could tell she would be late for work. That's the last thing she needed right now - the economy was shitty enough as it was, and her being late would only fuel her boss' drive for firing her and saving himself money. Many economists whispered about a second Great Depression, but Ymir could see bullshit from a mile away.

Her hair was untamed and messy, mainly from last night's activities - to which Ymir grinned and chuckled - therefore she took it upon herself to jump in the shower to clean up. However, the water was cold, very cold. Ymir nearly shrieked when she twisted the knob to the left for hot water and received a greeting from the Arctic Ocean instead.

"Fuck, seriously?" Ymir groaned and grit her teeth in a firm resolve to get it over with. The quickest shower she ever had to take was over, and she quickly climbed out and ran to rub her towel across her body in an effort to prevent frostbite. Her teeth clattered against each other and her body trembled with shivers, however Ymir maintained her quick pace and dressed warmly for the weather - the snow had started piling since two days ago, and seemed to be eternal what with all the goddamn flurries that kept getting announced on the weather reports.

Ymir walked into the kitchen, hoping that Krista had at least packed her a lunch or made breakfast or something, but unfortunately nothing had been made. The brunette sighed and grumbled as she set out to throw herself a meal, but then the electricity went out and her electrical appliances refused to work. Ymir flicked her eyes to the refrigerator and noticed the note stuck on the board.

_'Electricity will be out for today. Remember to pay the bills! -Krista'_

The tall brunette glanced down at the kitchen table and suddenly felt a fifty-pound weight on each of her shoulders. There, in the centre, was a pile of envelopes all with company logos and addresses to Ymir. The stack looked ready to fall over, and Ymir really wanted to use them as a firestarter. The matches were already in her hands, ready to do it, but she dropped them on the table and put her hands in her hair to grip the strands tightly. The stress built up without even talking to people, and it clawed at her from the inside and behind her eyelids. Already, she could see an eviction notice on their apartment door, and Krista crying as she nursed the bump on her stomach while lugging her suitcase down the hall.

No - Ymir shook her head and banged the table harshly - no, that would absolutely not happen. She would not allow Krista to feel the pains and stress of paying the bills and performing hard labour to make ends meet. The blonde was already working a part-time job to help Ymir while finishing her school, not to mention she was pregnant, and Ymir could not allow her to feel any more pressure than she had now.

With a muffled groan, Ymir grabbed the stack of bills and tucked them under her arm. She grabbed her wallet, keys and coat, strapped on her boots and locked the door behind her. She sifted through the envelopes, throwing the junk mail and advertisements in the garbage can around the corner and keeping the important mail. So far, there were only three important bills she had to pay, but they were yet to be determined in amount.

Ymir exited the complex and met the frosty air face to face, wincing at the biting breeze. Krista was in the process of knitting her a scarf, but it was an incomplete project and would remain so for a while. The snow slushed around her leather boots, and Ymir could see her car through the snowstorm blinding her vision. Weathermen warned citizens to stay indoors for the day, but the weathermen didn't have the same issues as regular citizens - they didn't live in shitty apartments and struggle to make ends meet. They weren't Ymir - who needed to show up for her job everyday or she'd get fired - so the brunette didn't even give a rat's ass for their warnings.

A patch of ice lay hidden underneath the slush, and when Ymir stepped on it to get to her car, she slipped and dropped the envelopes in a nearby brown puddle. Her heart dropped and she scrambled to retrieve them, but the damage had been done. The bills were ruined, and she didn't even know how much there was to pay. Krista would surely be angry once she came back home.

Ymir grit her teeth in anger and shredded the wet papers with her bare hands. Already, she could feel the beginnings of frostnip take over her knuckles and fingers, and it only served to anger her even more. Why did all this have to happen now, when she was most at risk of losing her job and losing Krista?

Ymir sighed in aggravation and unlocked her car. At least her trusty vehicle wouldn't fail her. She sat in the driver's seat and shoved her key in the keyhole. As she tried to start the car, the engine sputtered and died.

"Shit, no."

She tried again, turning her key and listening to the engine garble and choke as it attempted to work. She smacked the dashboard, floored the gas, gripped the steering wheel - everything, but to no luck.

"Please baby, work for me, pleasepleaseplease! Goddamn it! Fuck this shit!" Ymir shouted as she slammed her fists on the steering wheel. She felt tears fill her eyes as she imagined her boss handing her the infamous pink slip, or maybe even a jolly co-worker happily announcing her untimely discharge. The fucks at her workplace all hated her, anyway; they'd be glad to see her leave, even though she had a wife to take care of and a baby on the way.

Ymir rested her forehead against the steering wheel, just about ready to give up. She'd been ready to start her day, to work through the shit that life enjoyed throwing at her, but she was done. No busses ran by this part of town, and her job was far from where she lived. It was hopeless.

A culmination of everything negative weighed her down and destroyed her usual confidence. She didn't feel very powerful against the storm that brewed both inside and out. All she could think of was Krista, and the sweetness and happiness she didn't deserve. Ymir didn't deserve Krista and all the wonderful feelings that came with her, but she did her damn best to try. She did her best to be a fantastic lover and a close friend to the only person who ever tried to love her, and now she was about ready to give up.

With a sigh, she stood and exited the car. There were bills to pay, mouths to feed, and nothing was going her way today. The least she could do was call her ungrateful boss to let him know of her troubles, as well as wait for Krista and greet her wonderful wife warmly. The blonde usually managed to catch a ride with her colleagues to work, so Ymir never had any real reason to worry.

The brunette trudged through the snow and into the complex. She stopped by the landlord's office and asked for a phone call, to which the man stoically gave an affirmative. Before dialling her boss' number, she asked for a copy of the bill for the apartment, and the landlord sighed as he opened a filing cabinet and rummaged for a document to copy.

Ymir thanked the man and pocketed the papers before turning back to the phone. She steeled herself and called her boss, inputting the correct extension in order to reach the man himself. When he answered, he seemed to be in a good mood, which put her at ease.

"Mornin' boss," Ymir mumbled.

"Ymir? Is that you? Where the hell are you?" her boss demanded.

"Car troubles, can't come to work today."

"Bullshit, I want your ass here in half an hour or you're fired."

"I'm not lying, I swear - she died on me when I was turning the key, and this bloody weather is too harsh for anyone else to help me."

"Ymir, get ready to pick up your things tomorrow - as of today, you are officially discharged."

"What the fuck?"

"And don't expect any help from-"

Ymir trembled as she struggled to contain her rage and her heavy emotions. She tried, she really did try, but she couldn't hold it in, not when he patronized her like she was some kind of child or lesser being.

"FUCK YOU!" she screamed, startling the landlord who had started filing records of new tenants, "fuck you and your whole goddamn company. I hope it burns to hell, and that the incoming recession hits you the hardest, you goddamn bastard. I hope you're happy, knowing you just fired a woman who's been trying to support her pregnant wife for the past few months." And with that Ymir ended the call and stomped out of the office. She angrily marched up to her apartment, threw the door open and stripped off all her winter clothes. Slamming the door shut, she leaned her back against it and threw her head backwards. She felt her skull crack with the wood and sucked in a harsh breath.

Slowly, she slid down until she sat with her knees against her chest, and laid her forehead down. Wrapping her arms around her legs, Ymir felt the anger drain from her and felt it being replaced by something worse: depression. It pulled her lower and lower, drowning her in total chaotic sadness that felt like quicksand - impossible to get out of with a struggle. The more she resisted her feelings, the deeper she sunk, until the pit she had drowned in felt like a deep trench straight from hell. Her demons smiled, her fears surfaced, and her insecurities devastated her.

"Fuck…" she muttered, tightening the grip on her pants, "fuck."

Without her even realizing, she began to cry. It started out with a few tears sliding down her cheeks, then she was outright sobbing and burying her face in tissues because nothing was working out, and she just got fired from her job and now she couldn't support Krista at all!

Her sobs wracked her body with every single one she let out, and she could feel the tears sliding off her chin and landing in a puddle on the floor. She sniffed and shook her head, gritting her teeth in an attempt to control herself. That only made it worse, because now she began to hiccup and her speech patterns were irregular and incomprehensible.

"F-f-u-uuu…" she hiccuped, "FUCK LIFE!" She stood and kicked a hole in the wall adjacent to the door, letting out another heavy sob as she rested her forehead against the wall.

"I'm…" she sniffed, "I'm s-s-so s-s-orry, Krista!" She blew into a tissue and tossed it on the table. Her tears continued to leak, even as she dabbed at her eyes with the tissues, and it was all she could take before she threw another fit and flipped the table over. Her raging caused a photoframe of her and Krista to slip and fall off, shattering as it hit the floor. Ymir noticed and dashed for it, pricking her hands and making them bleed. Already, they were frost nipped and were now bleeding on top of that. She ignored it, however, and gripped the photo between her fingers tightly.

It was a picture of when they went on their honeymoon, nearly five years ago.

The sobs returned full-force, and Ymir fell sideways against the couch, clutching the photo to her chest. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair that with all the shit she put in to get things to work, nothing ever did seem to do her any good. Usually by now, she would snap out of it and yell at herself for bitching, but it's been going on for days - she'd been stressed out to the max, and now she was feeling the depression hit her like a strong shock wave. If only she had talked to Krista about her problems, then maybe she wouldn't feel like the door to a happier life had been slammed in her face.

The sound of keys being inserted and pushing through the lock broke Ymir out of her daze, followed by a soft exclamation. "Ymir? Oh my god, Ymir!"

Ymir sniffed as she glanced with her reddened eyes at Krista, feeling a smile twitch at her lips but not yet getting there. She turned her head, ashamed that her wife had to see her like this.

"Ymir, honey, are you alright?" Krista asked worriedly, cupping Ymir's face between her cold palms. She ignored the flipped table and broken photoframe, and concentrated on comforting her wife first. She glanced at the bloodied photograph in Ymir's fingers, and plucked it from her hands to clean off the blood from both the photo and Ymir's palms.

"D-does it look like I'm alr-right?" Ymir snapped, sniffing and turning away even further. It felt embarrassing to have Krista hear her hiccupping and stuttering, because Ymir was used to being the strong one in the relationship. She was used to Krista using her shirt as a tissue, and having her tears run down her shoulder and neck - not the other way around.

Krista smiled reassuringly and tugged Ymir against her body. The brunette rested her face against Krista's neck and breathed deeply, closing her eyes as she focused on the blonde's heartbeat.

"Wanna talk about it?" Krista tried gently, stroking her wife's arm in an attempt to coax the day's horrors out of her. Krista wanted to help, but she couldn't do anything if she didn't know the source of Ymir's pains.

Ymir couldn't say no, the urge to complain about her day was too great, and Krista had always been an excellent listener.

"It started this morning, when you weren't in bed with me," Ymir croaked, sniffing occasionally as she spoke.

"I left a note explaining-"

"I know," Ymir interrupted, "but I like having you next to me when I wake up."

"..."

"Then the shower was cold, and there was nothing to eat. Plus, the electricity went out, and there was a stack of shit to pay on the table. Then I dropped the bills in a puddle, and my car died out on me. And then I got fired by my asshole boss, I came back here and…"

"Oh Ymir!" Krista cried, hugging Ymir tightly to her chest. She pulled back and kissed her, sitting her straight and climbing into her lap as she ran her hands through her hair. Ymir returned the kiss passionately, using all the frustration that had accumulated over the day to give Krista one hell of a kiss.

Krista pulled back gasping, and she rested her forehead against Ymir's to catch her breath. The blonde snatched a tissue from the box on the table and dabbed at Ymir's eyes and cheeks. The brunette closed her eyes and smiled when Krista placed light pecks along her face, finally ending with another searing kiss to her lips. The taller woman placed a hand against Krista's abdomen and grinned when Krista placed her hand over Ymir's.

"How's she doing?" Ymir asked softly.

"She's doing alright," Krista answered quietly, smiling shyly. Already, she could see that Ymir was feeling better, but Krista couldn't help but say a few other words in reassurance. "I know right now life seems like crap, Ymir," she started, "but remember that your old job was really horrible, and I felt some papers in your pockets so I know that you got copies for our bills. Not to mention, I received my paycheck today, so we can buy groceries and pay the bills as soon as the storm lessens.

"Your car is old, and I really should help you get a new one soon - that old thing was bound to die at some point, and it's only bad luck it happened today. And sure, the electricity is out, but we have candles we can use to reenact our honeymoon. So it's alright, Ymir, it really is. We can work through this together if you'll let me help."

Ymir's eyes watered again but she blinked the tears away rapidly. She hugged Krista to her body tightly, pressing her lips to her neck and smiling as she felt the shudder course through her wife's body. Sometimes, Ymir forgot just how much Krista loved her, or how Krista's optimism had saved them on rainy days such as this. She blinked in confusion when the blonde stood and walked to the kitchen. When she returned, she threw a stack of newspapers in Ymir's lap and turned them to the jobs' section.

"Alright love," Krista giggled, "get to work. I'll try to make something for the both of us and- oh! Ymir, your hands… I'll get you something for that right away!" She hurried to the bathroom and pulled the first aid kit out from the cabinet under the sink. Kneeling at Ymir's side, she treated the wounds and the frostnip plaguing her love's hands and wrapped them in bandages and a blanket while warning Ymir to keep them warm.

As she walked back to the kitchen, Ymir smiled to herself when she felt the depression leave her body and fill with something much more wonderful. Looking at Krista amplified the feeling, and Ymir knew then it was a very good thing to be in love. Outside, the storm slowly moved away and was replaced by the sun shining across the sky and lighting up their room. Ymir glanced at the window and grinned.

Never give up, because it gets better.


End file.
